The Life of a Ghost
by littlecleocat
Summary: Arthur brings Matthew back from the dead but Matthew doesn't remember who he is! Now he's wandering around his town that he doesn't recognize trying to remember his life. Along the way he finds out about practically everyone but himself. (There are a lot a lot of pairings in this btw) may or may not have a M ch later on.
1. Who am I?

Yay! I haven't written anything in a week and I was getting bored XD so I drew up a map that lead to this book. I probably over thought the set up, but it's important for the plot so it might be helpful to look at it :) go to my profile to get the link

* * *

I opened my eyes and I couldn't feel the rain, but I could hear it and see it. It was all around me, falling down from grey clouds above me. I tried to move, stand, sit up, do anything but I couldn't. I tried again, but once again nothing. I layer there, looking up at the clouds, watching the trees sway in the wind I couldn't feel wondering everything that there is to ever wonder. Why can't I feel anything? Why can't I move? What's wrong with me? I look around more, and find that I can move my eyes now. Where am I? How did I get here? Why am I here?

Then it hit me, the real important question, _who_ am I? I don't know anything about who I am. My name is just at the tip of my tongue, but I can't seem to remember. Then, without even trying, I stand up. I don't know why but I can't move if I try and I can move if I don't try. Logic seems to be missing here.

I see that I'm on the side of a river. Looking down at my reflection I see a boy with slightly long blonde hair, purply-blue eyes, thin wire rim glasses and a red hoodie. This must be me, but I don't recognize it. What's going on?

The rain has made it overflow onto the bank and almost onto the road. I try to go the the road without trying. I go slowly but I get there. Following the white side line, I walk down the road until I get to an intersection. I turn right and walk down that strew for a bit. I keep tuning at random streets and walking down them to find other streets that pull me in. Eventually I happen upon a house, it's big, and surrounded by an expansive, and now puddle filled, yard.

I walk up to the house because I feel drawn to it, more than the other surrounding houses in the residential neighbor hood I found myself in. It's a dark green three story tall victorian with a wraparound porch. The window shutters are black, but one is missing on the second floor. I look closer, and suddenly I'm in front of the window. I look down and I'm floating a few inches above the porches roof!

My heart sinks. I know what's going on. I should have known. I'm dead. I'm a ghost. I'm just some dead guy… who was drawn down many streets to a certain house. Maybe I've come back for a purpose or else what am I here for? I close my eyes, and luckily they aren't see-through like the rest of me, and I pass through the wall into the house.

When I could no longer hear the sound of the downpour outside I knew I was inside but I still didn't want to open my eyes. I don't want to be a ghost, walking through walls and haunting houses. I want to remember who I am and live again!

Then I hear glass smash and I snap my eyes open. In front of me is what looks like a cross between a sophisticated laboratory and the halloween section at Walmart. On the far side of the 'L' shaped room I see a short man with a green cloak on gawking at me with a smashed vile at his feet. He has bushy dark brown eyebrows that are raised to the edge of his messy blond hair in shock. It's like he's never seen a ghost before.

He muttered something I couldn't hear, and I accidentally id my ghosty moving thing, so I was right in front of him. He jumped back and hit a pedestal holding a thick old book. I look at him, the book and the viles. I deduce that he must have been the one to summon me, but I wan to be sure.

"Did you bring me back?" I ask him.

He nods slowly, "I think so, but I've never actually… been successful… before now."

"Oh." so he wasn't an experienced wizard, but he must have done it for a reason right? He wouldn't just raise up the dead for fun… right?

"I didn't think It would work. I've read up on it, and how it worked hundreds of years ago, but nowadays… I can't believe I did it." he just seemed in awe of me for some reason. Di I know him before I died? What if he's my dad or something and he expects me to remember him?

"Did you know me before I died?" I asked

He tilted his head slightly, "Do you not remember?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I don't remember anything. I don't even know who I am."

"Oh. Oh dear." he said, his eyes widening. He ran behind his pedestal and flipped back a few pages. "It said that spirits sometimes loose their memories, it says it right here! I really shouldn't have skimmed the intro." he groaned, "I just didn't think I was that powerful… and now I've used all my powers up for a while… and I'm not sure I can send you back."

"What?" I didn't get it. He didn't think he could do it, he didn't think he was that powerful, but he tired anyway without reading through what could happen? Why would he do that?

"I'm sorry, I was just doing this so I could tell my… friend that I tried and that it doesn't work. I thought I would fail, but I didn't and, and, and now I don't know what to do." his cloak billowed around him as he slumped down against the wall, his head in his hands.

I looked down at him. I wanted to yell at him, to make him get me my memories back or send me back to wherever I was brought from. Yet I couldn't. I was angry, but at least I get to "live" for a bit longer. I should go out and make the best of it.


	2. Sticky Notes

I hope you like it :) this chapter took a lot of planing (I even made a timeline to figure out my own plot lol)

And don't forget to go to my profile page to find the link to this towns map, it has the places in this chapter labeled there.

* * *

I decided to leave, but I needed to know a few things before I left. The first thing I found out my name is (or was?) Matthew Williams. The second thing I found out was that the magician's name is Arthur Kirkland but he's really an English teacher and only does magic as a hobby. Then I left.

Wandering around the town, up and down the street took up a lot of my time. One of the roads I walked along, on the opposite side of town from Arthur, was parallel to the river so I followed the river out of town and into the forest. Soon I was lost in the woods for what was probably hours since the sun was beginning to rise.

The woods here aren't dense. The ground is covered in moss, ferns and leaves and there is the occasional stream or mini waterfall. The trees consist mainly of fur, beech, birch, oak and maple. I like the maple trees much more than the others, for some reason they seem to be something I can almost remember from my past life. I must have know a lot about trees back then.

It's April now, and the snow is gone everywhere but in a few places were the sun cannot reach. The trees are beginning to bud and I can see that life is coming back in the forest just like it came back in me. I was looking at one tree while walking another direction, and for a second I couldn't see. Stopping, I looked back, I had just walked through a tree.

It's strange being able to accidentally walk through trees. I don't feel it when I know I should. I see the sun, but I don't feel warm under it. I don't even have a shadow. It's like I'm in a dream. Am I really alive? I stay just where I am on the other side of the tree I passed though and ponder that question.

Shaking my head and stepping away form the tree, I try to clear my head of that line of thought because I might end up deciding that I'm _not_ alive. I don't want to think that. I keep getting caught up in these philosophical questions! I should be thinking of a way to get out of these woods instead, even if they are beautiful. I start to follow a creak that leads to a river which then brings me back to a road; to civilization.

I'm standing on the road, my back to the woods, looking across the river to a big stone building. It looks like it was once a church, but I can see that the cross from the top was purposely taken off and replaced with a shinny new weather vane that clashes with the rest of the old building.

From here I'm not sure what the weathervane is supposed to be. Then my ghost powers kick in, and I'm hovering on the roof in front of the weathervane that is shaped like an opened book. I assume that this building is now a library. I want to test my ghostliness again so I sink through the roof. Well, there are perks to being a ghost I guess.

Looking around, I see what seems like the a librarians office. The office has two doors one must go down stairs but the one I'm interested in leads to a balcony over the river.

From the right side of the balcony I can see the road were I was earlier and to the left I can see a bridge. There are stairs that lead from the balcony down to a little path heading toward the bridge. I wonder if the librarian likes looking out to the water as much as I do.

I watch the water rush by for yet again must have been hours. I'm starting to feel as if time goes by faster as a ghost. The sun is nearly at the highest point in the sky now.

I've had my fill of pretty views so I decide to head down to the library. I go back to the office and sink down to the next level. I find myself surrounded in thick, dusty books. There are windows open on all of the walls letting in light that catches on the dust floating in the air. It looked empty from first glance, but then I notice a spot by the stairs that has dust swirling around much more than the rest of that floor. I wander up and down the isles taking my time to get to the person.

When I arrive I see a boy, maybe around my age, or what age I used to be, sitting on the floor looking through the old books and holding a black pen. I take in the boys appearance. He's tall and muscular, with ice blue eyes and short blonde hair. He's the second person I've seen here, but this time he doesn't see me. I try to say hi, or tap him on the shoulder, but my voice goes unheard and my hand just goes through his shoulder. I'm not sure if I'm relieved or if I'm unhappy about this.

I look down to see what he's doing. The first thing I see are the sticky notes. They are simple little yellow stick notes, but they are one, two or three on the back cover of a bunch of big books. They all have red ink and black ink writing on each of them as if someone was writing notes back and forth. They're even dated. The books are stacked on top of each other in a chain so I can read them all in order. It looks like they've been there for a while, as if they haven't been put back in months. This is what they said:

book one:

r(1-13) Hello. How are you?

b(2-8) Good.

r(2-17) Why did you respond?

b(2-30) Why did you ask?

(new note)

r(3-4) I wanted to to see if anyone reads the same books as me, or even comes to this floor.

b(2-6) Well you found someone, but I'm probably the only other one who comes up here.

r(3-7) I can tell, we've left this book out for a month, and no ones moved it. R-J-57329NE

b(3-8) What's that number?

book two:

r(3-7) Hello

b(3-12) Hello, I found you again.

r(3-13) It took you long enough.

b(3-14) I didn't understand what it meant, but now I do.

r(3-16) H-T-29537AW

book three:

r(3-16) Hello.

b(3-18) Hello. Do you read all these books?

r(3-19) Do you?

b(3-19) Some of them, but I have homework, so I can't read all of them.

(new note)

r(3-20) So you're in school still.

b(3-20) Sp you're not in school? Do you have a job?

r(3-21) Yes. C-R-44085JH

book four:

r(3-22) Hey.

b(3-22) Why are you saying hey instead of hello?

r(3-23) You're a kid, children say hey.

b(3-24) I'm not a kid. I'm a teen, and I say hello.

(new note)

r(3-25) A teen is a kid as far as I'm concerned.

b(3-26) Well I'm not a kid.

r(3-26) That what a kid would say.

r(3-27) F-S-22943HH

book five:

r(3-27) Hello.

b(3-28) We've been talking for a long time.

r(3-28) This isn't really talking.

b(3-29) Then what is this?

(new note)

r(3-29) Useless chit-chat.

b(3-30) If it's useless, why are you still here.

r(3-31) I'm not really here, only my words.

r(3-31) D-R-29947UR

book six:

b(3-31) That sounds like something a kid would say. (Also, why did you leave a blank sticky note?)

r(4-1) Don't start that up again. (I just thought you could start it today.) I'm not a kid, even if I wish I was.

b(4-1) Why do you wish you were my age?

(new note)

r(4-1) Are you admitting you're a kid?

b(4-2) No, but why do you wish you were one?

r(4-5) I've just made so many mistakes in my life I wish I could take back.

b(4-5) Like what? And where have you been?

(new note)

r(4-5) I've been busy

b(4-6) Busy with what?

r(4-6) My wife and I are having marriage trouble.

b(4-7) I'm sorry. And I wish I could go back in time as well.

r(4-7) W-P-38011FD

book seven:

r(4-8) You're a kid, your whole life ahead of you. What regrets could you have already?

b(4-8) I had one friend since I moved here five years ago, but I didn't cherish him. He died around this time last year.

(new note)

r(4-8) I'm sorry. Pardon me for asking, but how did he die?

b(4-9) He killed himself. He said it was because no one cared about him, but I did. I just didn't show it enough.

(new note)

r(4-9) I'm sorry for your loss but please don't think it's your fault.

b(4-10) It's alright, don't be sorry, even if I won't get over it for a while.

(new note)

r(4-10) So you aren't alright.

b(4-11) No. But at least I have you.

r(4-13) Right. You have me, and I have you. L-O-33802JH

book eight:

r(4-18) Where are you? I'm getting worried.

b(4-19) Can we meet? I need to talk to someone.

r(4-19) Of course. When?

Now I'm back to where this teen is writing. I can tell that he's pondering his reply. He must take great care in what he says, even if his replies appear to be simple. Today is the 20th, and he responded in black ink with:

b(4-20) I need some time, meet me here on the 23rd.

I'm not sure what to think, I just read the relationship between two people in a few minutes. The teen on the floor to my left had an aura of pain around him, I guess it must be a ghost thing, but I can feel his pain like I'm absorbing it by just being beside him. I couldn't stand feeling that much, right after having feeling nothing, I have to get away.

I closed my eyes and tried to picture any place in town that I can. When I opened my eyes, I was pain wasn't in the library but the memory's from there were still fresh in my mind.

* * *

Just so you know:

The r stands for red ink and the b for black ink.

The teen in the library is Germany/Ludwig who is the black ink.

New note just means the red ink writer added in another sticky note, he's the only one who adds sticky notes tot he book.

The dates of when these were said are slightly important, that's why I put them in.

Alos, I suggest looking at the books cover, I drew it, so the date is correct...


	3. Choosing Sides

I know it's short, I'm sorry. I was working on another story, and got way to into it yesterday, so no that one is 6 thousand words and this is three hundred... Oh well. :) enjoy my silly little "chapter"

* * *

I'm not sure why the teen was hurting so much, but I do know he's not the only one hurting. I'm far from the library now but I can sense someone near by is feeling that same type of pain. I follow it, hoping that this time I can help.

I thought I was used to my ghost abilities by now, but I was still surprised when I was suddenly transported into a living room.

On the couch in from of me sat two boys, one crying, one yelling.

"I-I just love you!" one sobbed, "Why can't you accept that?"

"I'm a fucking guy! So are you bastard! This. Can't. Fucking. Work." The other yelled back. Then I heard footsteps and two more guys entered the scene.

"Antonio! Lovino! Awesome's arrived, what the heck's going on? Why all the crying nd yelling?" asked a teen with strange white hair and red eyes. Those red eyes… I feel I've seen them before. Now, I know I'm a ghost, so this is irrational, but I think if he turns around, he's see me. I hide in the kitchen and peak around the corner.

I missed some of the conversation, what are they talking about now?

Then dramatically a guy said, "I'm on Antonio's side, love has no limits!"

"Dude, he's GAY. It's not love. Just lust." the white haired teen spat.

"You don't know what love is, mon ami." the frenchman said sadly.

"Get out bastards. This is my house." Lovino commanded, and pointed to the door. Then he ran up the stairs and slammed a door leaving a staring contest between the frenchman and the red eyed man.

Finally the white haired man spoke, "Well, I have some business to take care of." and which a wave of his hand, he left. Then, of course, I decided to follow him.


	4. Dream

Well, I guess I'll be doing little chapter for a while...

* * *

Where he was going didn't take long, he just went over one street and across a bridge to get to a little run down house surrounded by a large fence. Then, instead of going up the steps to the door and knocking, the red eyed man walked into the woods following the fence until he reached an opening in the chain links. It was around three in the afternoon now, but being back in the forest makes it seem much later than it really is.

I ghosted through the fence and what I found was… pot. And a lot of it. It looks like someone has been growing it for a long time, not that I would know. But of course, maybe I did… I wouldn't know. Now I'm confusing myself, wait, where'd the guy go. I looked around, and I don't see him.

Then I hear voices from inside, and I follow them. I see the white haired man and someone I almost recognize. I stare at the tanned face and his dread locks trying my best to remember.

I must have tried a bit to hard.

My head is in pain, I can't see, then everything goes black.

I'm in a dream type state, and I can't quite follow what's going on. I'm walking around with someone at my side, they are laughing, then they leave. They walk into a house, and when someone comes back, it's not the same person. They are laughing too, but it's distorted, I can hardly hear.

Then I'm back on the side walk, walking across bridges, running across bridges, trying to get away from the laughter. Suddenly a purple light flashes and I wake up.

My eyes are wide with fear, and if I was alive, I know my heart would be pounding. Looking around, I see that I'm still in that run down house, but it's later in the day, the sun is setting and the room is dark.

I'm afraid of what I just remembered or dreamt, I have no idea what it meant. I need to find Arthur again. I start out walking (floating) down the strew, when I remember I can just jump the with my ghost powers.

I stop, and close my eyes, trying to picture his house so I can get there. Nothing happens. I try again, and still I'm on the same street. Maybe I used up all my power with the dream/memory thing? I guess I'll just walk then.


	5. Mansion

I'm sorry I took so long to update, I'm now writing way took much, and this story sadly got pushed to the see :'(

Enjoy! and don't forget to review :)

* * *

Walking to Arthurs proved impossible due to to the fact that everything around me is beginning to seem familiar. It's creepy seeing the streets you don't know suddenly start to bring back memories. For example, I was just walking, then I look down and see a crack in th side walk. Then BOOM! Is'n't that where I broke my elbow? Or I'll see a house and BOOM! Isn't hat the house that burned down twice? And it continued. I've been her bef- Oh! I learned to parallel park here! SO I can drive? My bike broke here! Over there is my brother's friends house! Wait I have a brother?

I couldn't even control my mind anymore, the memories were flooding in, and then getting lost so quickly it hurt. I realized the I was going the wrong way to get to arthrs anyway, I just passed the street that would take me in his direction. Now I'm in front of a big mansion next to the river.

Looking up at that house is when I see a glimpse of white hair again. I follow after it and find that it's that teen again-the one with the ruby colored eyes. He's, what is he doing?

I see him giving something to this big tall man wearing a scarf and long coat even though it's not all that cold outside. I look closer, well I try to. My ghostly abilities are still hindered by the memories draining my power.

Just walking closer is enough however, to discover that it's the drugs from Juan's house he's giving Ivan. OH, now I remember their names! Maybe the memories aren't that bad then…

Haha, I was kidding, they are that bad, my head is splitting from pain again, and the purple glow is surrounding my vision. I black out, but not before I see Ivan's eyes looking curiously in my direction.

When awake this time, it's totally dark outside, but the night isn't silent. I can hear muffled sounds from somewhere in the house. Following them down the hall I get nervous. What's happening? It sound like someones dying over there…

What I found wasn't someone dying, but it was close. Ivan has Toris, someone I now know of, pushed down in his office. The smile on Ivan's face seems familiar, but the memories have stopped flooding me for now.

I begin to leave, not wanting to have to watch the going's on of that office any longer, but I stop because I'm walked through.

Feliks struts down the hall, passing right through me, and enters the office. I run(still actually floating) away from them as fast as I can in my condition.

I hear, "He's, like so totally mine!" from behind me. Any fight that includes Ivan scares me, now and before.


	6. sorry

Here's the thing: I'm not motivated for this book.

I overthought the plot or something and it just got boring over time. I'm sorry If i'm a disappointment. But I will continue with my stupid chapters if someone really wants me too. I haven't ended a story before, so I'm not sure what to say.

so... bye :)


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